Feels I could leave tomorrow

I haven't seen true love anywhere
lately.
It used to lie
folded under my tongue,
it used to fill
the baby tooth gaps
in my teeth.
Now I'm swallowing the gold
crowns on my teeth,
leaving holes,
black and gaping.

I haven't seen any love anywhere.
It used to hang in tearducts and
drift in and out of your eyes,
now I'm watching wind
blow through the leaves of the boring trees.

I haven't seen true love anywhere
lately.
It used to rock me to sleep
and sift through my sheets.
Now I can't help but spend
nights with men
whose mothers I've
never met.
I rely on uncertain
surroundings
early mornings mostly,
but sun down is good
from the other side
of town.

I'm sorry anyone ever saw
any good in me , if it means
it is taking the good
out of you.
I'm good at lying, but
no good at love.
I try to find courage,
or even just a bit of
leftover grace to tell you
I'm sorry you loved
something of me.
I grind my teeth until I'm producing
sawdust
like a sawdust mill.

I haven't seen any love anywhere.
I try to water the lawn like
the morning dew.

When love is a myth I get lonely,
but I haven't believed in it,
for a while,
it seems as far away
as leaving town
tomorrow.