And now,

there is little I can say to you

without saying it

a whisper

across an ocean

you won't hear

whistles

gulls

and

storms

drowned me out first,

and I'm glad

to be hidden in folds

glimpse of light

amongst so many other

raging stars

black holes and

moons

terrible truth

and nature

I give in to you

and envy too

honesty

in looping words

I try to spew

spite and bitter news

what else can I tell you?

Next time,

remember me running in woods, pine dense

winter dew, and swearing under cigarette breath

lips too, crazy eyes filled with greed regret post-exhaustion obligation

finding money on the ground, hands and fingers nails you can

find scars and bruises on my elbows falling over all the time

hidden dark roots entangled, my feet tripping you

drown in oceans, me missing you and I've lost my mind

for months at a time and

I can't hold my tongue out

even catch a snowflake without

crying this is beautiful and

I know ,

I know you see it too.