Truth

If I had the hands

for this kind of killing

I would pull myself

up, out of dust

and

lost

in this fountain of youth

never thought I'd be stuck in mud

loose tracks

empty boots

there is a tape being wound

tight in my mind

but I don't

hear the songs anymore

what have I become?

I look around and I see a white room

body of water

filled with those parts of me

that will never be found

look and see all

the other things that drowned

my loose tooth

the hand of a brute

never knew

fear till I woke up in the

arms of a stranger

jesus

I can't even fall asleep

without wrecking two things at once,

I am not the person you knew.

I was carried into this

cloud filled with rain

and that whisper

it always gets you

electricity singing

I was so sure that I didn't

need you,

but when I talk to you now,

I am so ashamed

and

Oh god

I

don't

know

what

to

do.